Are you making regular investments into your marriage?
Sitting across the table, legs curled underneath me and money hidden under my thigh, I rolled the dice and advanced to Boardwalk. It was Thursday night, date night, and we were feeding our competitive nature with a simple board game. The conversation rolled around from work to play to children to planning, but never so deep that we lost our focus on gaining the monopoly of our most prized property.
For us, date nights consist of one night a week when we close down the computers, put the babies down early, and just enjoy being together. We don’t get gussied up for a night on the town very often, and we rarely get time away from our children overnight. We don’t know the going rate for babysitters, and we eat normal everyday foods for dinner unless I remember to make it special.
I rarely remember to make it special.
For the most part, this routine, this mundane life, is okay. It’s okay as long as we’re feeding the relationship solid food and growing closer to the Lord and one another.
But it’s not okay to stop investing in my marriage.
It’s not okay, because at some point we’ll forget why we’re together in the first place. We’ll cease to enjoy relational intimacy within our covenant-keeping marriage.
I recently came across a post at Whole Intentions, entitled The Top Ten Reasons for Divorce. It’s an incredibly thought-provoking post, worth checking out if you have some extra reading time.
When she said marriages that end in divorce average 9.8 years, I was shocked. My husband and I aren’t far from the ten year mile marker. This hit close to home.
I thought about it for a bit and realized a few things. Nine point eight years is when the kids are old enough to care for themselves, when parenting ceases being quite so physical in nature, and long enough for the same old, same old to get really old. And it’s long enough to forget why you got married in the first place, and long enough for you to no longer care.
It’s humbling to think that, apart from the grace of God this could be my marriage. Your marriage even.
Marriage is integral to building an intentional family. We all go through seasons in our marriage. Seasons of drought. Seasons of joy. Seasons of conflict. Seasons of passion. But through it all marriage belongs to God and exists for His glory.
And we get to enjoy this sweet gift from God!
I’m not worried about the ten year mile marker. I’m not worried if my marriage is on the brinks or not. I’m not worried because there are two investments we as a couple are committed to making regularly in order to keep our marriage strong, healthy, and thriving in the Lord and by the grace of God.
Here are two ways you, too, can invest in your marriage starting right now. These two investments will continue to have an impact on your marriage as you repeat them over and over again in the years to come.
Two Ways You Can Invest in Your Marriage Starting Now
1. Pray for your marriage
Are you faithful to pray daily for your marriage?
Intentional, scripture-led prayer does not come easily to me. But I believe, prayer is the one habit that your marriage cannot do without. It is the one habit that can make all the difference.
If you struggle to pray faithfully for your marriage, or maybe you are faithful to pray, but want to grow in praying scripture-based prayers for your marriage, then we would love for you to join us in a 21-day prayer challenge for your marriage!
The 21-Day Forever By Grace Prayer Challenge is a wonderful way to take your marriage before the throne of God and allow Him to work deeply in your marriage, but even more importantly, in your own heart.
We have been running this prayer challenge on our sister site, Intentional By Grace, for over a year and thousands upon thousands of couples have taken the challenge and experienced lasting change in their marriage.
Here’s an email I received just last week as a matter of fact:
“I absolutely love this prayer challenge. All of it reflects God’s truth and it has been like a balm to my soul. It’s given me hope now that I find myself praying for my marriage daily.”
When you sign up for the 21-day prayer challenge, you will receive a daily reminder delivered straight to your inbox. We will provide you with a daily topic, scripture, and sample prayer to lead you through faithfully praying for your marriage.
In addition, when you sign up, you’ll receive a free printable with 64 Questions to Ask on Date Night! These are questions my husband and I have used throughout the years to be intentional on date night. It’s easy to get caught up in talking about work, the kids, money, etc. These questions are great conversation starters to help you make date nights about the two of you!
Mark and I have both taken the prayer challenge several times, and we can honestly say that it changed the faithfulness of our prayer life for one another. I printed the prompts off and put them in my prayer notebook, and now I continue to use the challenge prompts month-in and month-out to pray for him and to do so with scripture-led prayers and not just my feelings-based prayers.
Click here to sign up for the prayer challenge or use the form below.
2. Participate in an intentional conversation
The second way you can begin investing right now in your marriage is through regular intentional conversations with your spouse.
An intentional conversation is a dialogue between you and your spouse that will help open the flood gates of communication and uncover any issues that need to be addressed in your marriage.
Mark and I love setting aside time for Intentional Conversations. We have been participating in Intentional Conversations for nearly ten years! This simple exercise has transformed our marriage time and time again.
- Do you want to grow in communicating with your spouse?
- Do you wonder what your spouse thinks of your marriage?
- Do you wonder why he always drapes his underwear over the hamper instead of tossing them in?
Well, now’s your chance to learn.
We have put together a FREE ebook, Forever By Grace: A Guide to Intentional Conversations with Your Spouse to help you invest in your marriage regularly with meaningful conversation!
Using the simple worksheets provided, this short eBook will facilitate and encourage intentional conversations in your marriage. By completing an Intentional Conversation with your spouse, you will determine ways in which you can grow as not only an individual, but as a couple; thus strengthening your marriage for the glory of God.
To get your copy of Forever By Grace: A Guide to Intentional Conversations with Your Spouse simply sign up for the Your Intentional newsletter by clicking here or by using the form below. Your copy of Forever By Grace: A Guide to Intentional Conversations with Your Spouse will be delivered straight to you!